Contemplation

So I am writing this post as I sit here in the wee hours of the morning... awake. We have had a sick household and I am sole caretaker of the Fort. It makes things interesting when your husband gets sick. I am sleeping on the couch, not because we are in a fight, but because I don't want to share his germs. So really I am not sleeping much at all. Brielle is sick. She coughs all night long and just cries because she doesn't feel good. This breaks my heart and I wish i could take the sickness away. The other kids are feeling fine but are getting a little neglected between taking care of sick people, washing dishes for hours because we have a broken dishwasher, and mounds of laundry, and it makes me feel guilty.

So as I am sitting here contemplating all of this the Lord has been so kind to remind me that this is why I am here. My purpose in life is to take care of my little family. These are the people who will be with me forever and my relationships with them should be the most important. I can't change the past, but I can decide every day to get a little better. If I only yell at my kids three times today instead of four that is change right?

I have also learned that I have to set realistic expectations for myself. I cant think I will be perfect in one day. It will take this life and the next for that. I can just choose to keep getting better one day at a time. That is what life is about. Enjoy the Journey and progression, and ultimately love. Love is really all we need.